I think we all have regrets in our lives. Our entertainment world is full of movies and books about how to go back in time and “fix” everything. Many stories show how doing so would have irrevocable changes that could ruin your future life or other’s lives. Some show that trying to do so causes happiness. In some ways I love those stories, in other ways I find them damaging. They create in us this longing of “oh if I went back, things would be different”. Maybe.
I believe you are the only you. You are the only person to go through your circumstances and learn, grow, and change with them. Whether those circumstances were horrific or were great, you still were impacted.
The great news? Nothing is stopping you from taking control and starting forward today.
“But I have three kids!”
Get that. That may impact your timeline or the width of the changes you are able to make in a responsible manner but you can still change and grow. Kids are also the greatest investment you can make for our future. If it’s possible, you can have them also be invited into your change. They have things they want to change to and you can help them do that.
“But my job. I hate it but I can’t just leave. ”
Got that, too. Hate to say this but if your job is holding you back from chasing a dream, changing your life for the better, or something else that you have “always wanted” in your life, then the fact of the matter is you love your job and you are where you are meant to be. Sure, we need to have a job to pay those bills and maybe that’s what your current job is. Then make small changes outside of it. If you have time to watch TV, play video games, or go out; you have time to make changes to the things YOU want.
“But I tried before and I failed”
Yep, that sucks. That hard. We are taught to feel failure so much and see it as the end of all things. You know what? I’m here to free you from that because that’s simply not true but it’s hard to break the things we have been enforced all our lives by our parents, teachers, friends, and careers. If you want to change something without having to lift a finger, start working on your mindset and how you view failure as well as success.
“But my friends, family, puppy will think less of me or have told me to quit or tell me I suck”.
Toxicity knows no bounds and the most toxic people can be those closest to you. The thing is that it truly and honestly doesn’t matter what they think. And even if it feels uncomfortable, and scary. Changing for you to where you are moving forward in the direction you want (even if that’s to quit and become a singer on the streets of Hollywood, or a chef, or an artist, or a business owner, or a teacher, or a doctor, or an accountant, or a welder, or WHATEVER that is), do it for you.
“But people can’t change”
While that’s going more into the realm of nature versus nuture and other psychological avenues, I don’t know if I believe that. I do believe that who you are in terms of your morality, your core beliefs, and things of that nature stay with you; even those do change. You may view the death penalty has horrible when you are younger but view it as moral when you are an adult. You may choose to lie and steal when you are younger and recant your ways as an adult. Or you may view yourself as crappy one week and make some life altering changes about how you view yourself the next.
People change. People can change. People DO change. And doing what you feel is what you were meant to do, or want to do, or are called to do or whatever you want to view it is, that not only helps YOU; it helps those around you. They see courage, authenticity, genuine joy or sadness, they see YOU.
How does this stack up to your leadership or business or whatever level you are at? If you hate what you are doing, then how can you lead others effectively? If you hate who you are, how can you teach others to be who they are as a leader?
Don’t let regret steal your momentum. Keep Moving Forward.